Tuesday, March 18, 2014
I was thinking about skipping the monthly post this month (I'm already two weeks late) but when I told Aaron that, said how much he loved looking back at these little monthly snapshots. So I figured better late than never.
It's funny- every time I write these I look back on the month and struggle on how to describe Levi. The boy at the beginning, middle, and end of each month is very different. In general though it's been a very physical month for him. Levi is standing up all the time (he still needs help getting up, but, once up, he stays). He's also working on crawling. I thought he had no interest in crawling, then all of the sudden he seemed to take to it and tries all the time. He has trouble getting that big head up, which means he scrapes his poor face across the carpet, resulting in some very red cheeks. I think this morning though he had his first true crawl! We also installed a hanging jumper and he LOVES it. He smiles big, then gets a very determined face as he starts jumping, then stops and smiles again.
His eyes are so alive this month. When he looks at you, he communicates so much. He's a laugher and engages so much with the world. It's such a joy to see his sweet personality come through.
Sleep has been a roller coaster this month. He is consistently up once per night to eat still, which is fine by me. Some nights that's it and it's great. Other nights he's up a midnight or earlier screaming, only to be consoled by me. These are tough nights. Naps have been up and down too. Sometimes he goes down like a champ and sleeps for an hour 3-4 times per day. Other days its an hour fight to get him to sleep, only to find he's more awake than ever at the end, ready to take on something new.
The past couple of weeks have also brought something new - clingyness. If Levi is with his babysitter during the day and sees me, he starts to scream. He's started to only be consoled by me at night. I'm usually more successful at naps than anyone else. I love that he feels so bonded with me, and I miss him like crazy too, but it makes for a challenging work day. I hate to hear him cry and know that if I just went to him, he'd be comforted, while also trying to maintain boundaries at work.
I had a few more flights with Levi for a trip to Florida to see my sister. He did great with the flights and loved the trip. Everyone asks if the travel messes him up, but I swear he is happier and sleeps better on quick trips - I think the excitement and distractions tire him out in a really good way. He loved the sand and the waves and the pool. It makes me so excited to share the summer with him.
It has been a wonderful month. Between his sweet kisses, how he hangs on when I hold him, and how his face lights up when I walk in a room, I feel my intense love for him reciprocated in some way for the first time, and it's so rewarding. It also makes the work/life balance all the more challenging. It is so hard to try and ignore that constant tug I feel towards him during the day. But I'm trying to savor my work, savor time with Levi and Aaron, and appreciate all I have.
at 9:11 PM