growing old

I saw this quote today and it made me think of my mother.

“It is not true that people stop pursuing dreams because they grow old, they grow old because they stop pursuing dreams.” ~ Gabriel Garcia Marquez

Something that I loved about my mother was that I don't think she ever thought of her self as a 'grown-up.' You can attribute some of her best qualities to this - she was playful, ever hopeful for the future, adventurous, able to re-make herself at the drop of the hat. The other side of the coin was that she was irresponsible, too quick to fall in love, and sometimes selfish. I loved her young heart, though. While it could make for a difficult parent when I was young, it made for a great friend as I got older. I loved how she could read through a stack of books on anything in one night. I loved that she was always thinking about what she wanted to be when she 'grew up.' I love that the last few years of her life, she was learning to play the djembe drum (inspired by her love of Rusted Root) and had just ordered a slack line (inspired by the movie, Man on Wire). She would see something that interested her, and her mind would immediately resolve that she could do that too. Granted it often didn't result in much, but sometimes it did. When she had the chance to move to South Carolina, Sardinia, and Maui, she jumped right in with little trepidation. She was always a dreamer... she was never 'done.' And because of this, she never grew old.

I've been thinking about this a lot. Now that I have a child, am in the process of purchasing a home, and Aaron is pursuing a PhD that could result in a very long-term career position when he's done, it seems we're finding ourselves settling into adult decisions that could set us on a track for the rest of our lives. Not very long ago I was still thinking about the next move, the next career, the next country, even. I suppose it's good to be content, but what I love about this life are it's possibilities. I want to remain open to them all, just as my mother did, while still providing my children the stability that my parents often couldn't.

I hope to instill in Levi a wonder in the world, just as my mom instilled that in me. I want him to feel that anything is possible. That he can always change, if he wants to. To have hope.

I'm thankful that I'm excited to tell Levi about her. I'm so thankful for who my mother was.